My Niqab Story

Shyer Assalaam-u-Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakaatuh

wow..i dont believe it..ive actually begun to wear a niqaab..alhamdulillah..finally..three days ago.. ..TAKBEER!!!ALLAAHU AKBAR!!!

before starting, i would love to thank my mom for her constant support and belief in me that i could one day do something great and for having taught me the basic hand sewing skills which allowed me to make one myself..the sis who inspired me..sis munaaqabah who gave me the measurements for the niqaab..sis vitamin X (whose real name i still dont know..) for amazing me tht one could actually hav the courage of wearing a hijaab at such a young age in a non-Muslim country..myself wanting to please Allah...and wanting to be called a ninja...and Allah subhanahu wa ta'alaa for giving me the courage and hidaayah for starting to wear a niqaab..for indeed, he whom Allah chooses to guide, cannot be misguided, and he whom Allah chooses to misguide cannot be guided aright..

well...It's a pretty long story, but Insha' Allah i shall try to make it as brief as possible..

born and raised in saudi arabia, i was used to seeing Muslim sisters wearing the niqaab fully..in fact, i used to consider it as something beautiful. i remember when i was in grade 3, i couldn't wait to enter grade 4, because at that time, that was when girls are supposed to start wearing 'abayah (now its grade 6)..my mother also used to wear the niqaab there..while i was growing up, i began to get more and more into trying to copy the west as i had seen the behavior of "cool" girls on TV. I had begun to act rudely to my parents and often times used to raise my voice in front of them..although i had been taught about Islam throughout my life and understood it, i still began to slowly detoriate from Islam without my realizing it..

i remember my first love with the niqaab in grade 5..i had a really high fever and was having daymares..my parents took me to the hospital..and there was a doctor who had a white lab coat and a black niqaab and hijaab..not only that, she also had black gloves on..i was amazed..sure, my mom had it, but she used to wear it once in a while.

a couple of years back, when i was in grade 7, a new fad began with the niqaab..the girls used to put it on in a fashionable way, they would look beautiful..but of course most of them only did it to attract the young boys' attention to their beauty.. then in grade 8, a great change occurred to me..a revert teacher, frm uk came to our school..she was my type of person..u knw..all wild, hyper and always jumping around..except she was never clumsy ..she was my physics teacher tht yr..being a bit experienced in Islam (this shall Insha Allah be her 7th yr i think), she used to often discuss about islaam..then around the middle of the year, our school's principal decided tht all the revert teachers were interviewed in front of the whole school about why they accepted islaam..i was amazed, coz i wasnt used to hearing ppl accepting Islam because of the beauty of the hijaab..true, i loved it, but i never went deep into the matter..at the same time, i bumped into the sv and found out that there were also Islamic websites..not only non-Muslim websites..i found a coupl of articles about hijaab and niqaab..i had still never anticipated that i'd be one day wearing a niqaab.

the first time that i ever gave thought to wearing a niqaab was when i went for 'umrah in my last year in Saudi arabia which was grade eight..although i used to go every year, sometimes twice a year, it was different from any other 'umrahs because it was the first time that we were going by bus..normally, we went by car..anyway, there, my lil bro and i met a palestinean family, only one girl..she was my age..being ok in arabic, i made friends with her quickly..on the way, (i used to wear full huge hijaabs) the bus broke down, and we had to wait till a toll truck and a replacement for the bus came..at that time, all the men went outside and a coupl of women, including my mom and my friend's mom..i think her name was sarah..anyways, we talked about different stuff...after a while, after one of my arabic jokes, she paused, looked at me and said sincerely, why dont u wear a niqaab? ur very beautiful u know..

that was the turning point for me..coz #1, all my life, eversince i was a kid, i used to detest people looking at my face..especially the way the single saudi youth stare at women..and our gate-keeper in our school..#2, i loved it..and for the first time, i said to myself, yeah, maybe i ought to wear it..coz nobody had ever said tht i was pretty..i was like, wht hav the ppl in teh back (front families sit..back single or men travelling alone) must think..and it gave me a sick feeling..

all throughout my stay in makkah, madinah and jeddah, i noted the bahavior of the men towards niqaabi and non-niqaabi sisters..i was amazed at it..coz i had never thought of it before..the niqaabis received so much respect, while the non-niqaabis..well, let's say it was less than the niqaabis..i never got the courage to ask my mom to buy me a niqaab, coz it's just my nature..im too shy to ask ppl for stuff...i just cant do it..

anyway, another incident made me want to wear the niqaab even more..when i was visiting my realatives in pakistaan, i stayed at my aunt's house for a coupl of days..now she's a bit "modern" and never approved my wearing the hijaab..one day, while i was talking with her in her room - i had my hijab on, she was like, take it off, u'll get fungus on ur hair and it'll eventually fall out..i on the other hand was struggling to keep my hijaab on (it was a new hijaab)..finally, she let go of it, and it still has marks on it where the pin pulled the thread (i had it on, coz she has two sons older than me)..i was determined to show that i could do more than tht..this was my stubborn side showing up...

before coming here to canada, my physics teacher and i had a loooooong walk and talk around our school while she discussed with me and explained the importance of Islam in everyday affairs there and how to keep my identity..btw, she wears a niqaab, abayah and gloves etc..the tent style..insha Allah i'll be wearing it soon..as soon as my mom finds out tht i wear the niqaab.

when i came here, i had my 'abayah on..on the other hand, my mom had taken hers off..but she wore her hijaab.. (masha Allah she's really supportive, but like me, she can be a bit stubborn too..i cant help it..its in the genes.. )..but later on, i took it off..

alhamdulillah, it was a great year last year..i've learnt a lot about myself..made great friends..and hope that they always stay with me.. ameen..

anyway, in the isna conference last year (i was shocked to find out that there are so many muslims here, masha Allah..and that there are so many muslims here, masha Allah..the way my teachers had described the western world was totally different frm wht i saw..), i was really excited..i was wearing my new hijaab..my new skirt and blouse..as loose as they could be..my style, when i saw her..the first niqaabi in canada..the bros and sis frm the isna team were introducing thm to us, whn i began to realize all the muslims frm all the way upto ottawa..it was then i saw her..she was dressed in all black..she looked soooo beautiful, masha Allah..all in black..for a while, it was undescribable.. subhan Allah. I mean, I never thought about it ever..someone wearing a niqaab here..in Canada. it was something I couldn't get in my mind.. ..

after my exams, during the summer, when my mom and I were going through our suit cases for clothes for the summer, came upon my `abaayah... whn I was sure that my mom want watching, quietly slipped away upstairs and put in my closet..

around the same time, I got an email regarding niqaab..i thought that it was interesting and printed it out- the same time, I began to read more and more of the Qur'aan and reading the tafaseer, since there was nothing else to do in the morning from 6 o'clock to around 9o'clock..in the middle of summer, one of my mom's friends, the first of the many few niqaabis I was to meet took me over to a whole day at the Masjid- I helped a bit in organizing events- I met a number of sisters who wear the niqaab..i couldn't help realizing how beautiful they looked in their niqaabs... all of a sudden, I felt the sudden urge to wear it, coz nobody knew how they looked like, wht their facial statement was- it was as if they had their own little secret that none of us knew..

I got more and more involved into wanting to wear the `abaayah-at that time, sis yonette was over at a Masjid sharing her story of her conversion-she also had a flyer about a Muslim youth camp for five days.. It was the bomb.. i had never felt more in place than then since I had come to canada-there, I met a sis who became a Muslim 2 yrs ago..and wht impressed me was tht she was wearing a `abaayah, although she was a yr older thn me..i was like..i want to wear a `abaayah-and also met a lot of sisters who wore the jilbaab or `abaayah-one day, while going shopping, I just put my old `abaayah on and went...alhamdulillah everyone at my school and everyone took it coolly.. J ..eversince tht day I've worn it out with a coupl of patches on it.. -

Then in the middle of last semester, we started setting up da'wah booths in our school-I was one of the first ppl to sign up for it...i took as many books as we could-among one of the books I got was on hijaab-I didn't look at it much until three months later when I had to give a lecture on hijaab at a sleepover in a Masjid-I opened the book thinking tht it was tht easy-and after having read it, I was confused-coz here it said tht (sis munaqabah also has the book on her website) a hadeeth frm Sunan Abu Dawood saying tht we should cover everything except our face and hands was wrong-and Abu Dawood himself had said so-

I slowly began to think and rethink about my wanting to start wearing the niqaab-coz I read in different ahadeeth and stories how the muslims when something was revealed, they used to do it immediately without questioning the Rasul (Salla Allahu `alayhi wa Sallam), although a few restrictions do apply-and how when the verse to cover themselves the Sahabiyyaat tore their murut or the lower part of their apron and made niqaab for themselves the very night the verse was revealed- subhan Allah-after the bombing, my mom made me take my `abaayah off-all of a sudden, I began to feel the same unease that I had always felt when I was younger and didn't practice Islam with such vigor-indeed the hadeeth which says that whn a Muslim does something to please Allah while knowing that the ppl will be displeased, Allah shall cause the person and the ppl to be pleased with him/her..and if a Muslim does something to please the ppl while knowing that the action shall displease Allah, He shall cause displeasure among the ppl and the person-but Alhamdulillah I began wearing it again..Coz like I said, I hate men looking at me with bad intentions. Before I started wearing the abayah, my friends commented on how thin etc I was. Somehow my extra large shirts from the men section never worked, so I though that I ought to start wearing the `abayah coz nobody would notice it...thn ppl started to comment on my face-for some reason, I never thought that ppl actually look at your face-so I was like-ok, do some research on niqaab-the pros of niqaab out-weighed my not wanting to wear it-so I started bugging my mom to tell me where it was-finally, two months back, I was chatting with sis born to die-I asked her where she got her niqaab from-she told me that she's made it herself. It gave me a wonderful idea-why don't I make one myself? I was so excited that I took a black cotton shirt that I had and quickly cut it into anonymous sizes without thinking about what I had been doing-later on, I realized that they were very bad measurements-I gave up on making it and started surfing the net for some good quality niqaabs that were cheap but good-because I like the niqaabs with the long face cover-and nowadays, they have become pretty rare-last month, I started thinking of trying again-posted a topic here for the measurements for the niqaab and cut them accordingly-two weeks ago, my grandfather got very sick and was hospitalized-the next day, my mom was off to pakistan and I was all sad coz it was the first time that my mom had left any of us behind without her or my dad-only us five kids to take care of the house-all the time, to comfort myself, I said Alhamdulillah `alaa kulli haalin-then the next day, an idea clicked onto my mind-why don't I make the niqaab? I mean, I couldn't miss the golden chance- J -I went over to my aunt's house and began sewing the niqaab with the measurements I got from u, sis-Jazakillahu Khairan ya sis.. J -don't know how to thank u-I finished this week on Tuesday and wore it the first time on Wednesday -Alhamdulillah I've received a lot of support from a lot of sis from my school and some bros too-and a couple of non-Muslims, too-on Friday after my art class, and asked seemed really happy for some reason-another sis who wants to start wearing the niqaab was also with me-she was like, what do u call it? At that, both of us started to tell her the history of the niqaab, hijaab and Islam-after we were done, she told us that she was going to congratulate me on my engagement-lol-my friends and I were cracking up- -anyways, it's a great thing and Alhamdulillah I love it-and wont take it off-even after the half-an-hour lecture I got from my aunt yesterday and the looks I got from my mom yesterday-coz Allah loves us-so do we...although He knows that we love Him, we need as a constant reminder like Salaah and obeying Him-its just like us with our parents-sure, our parents know that we love them-but in order to prove them that we love them, we show it to them by obeying them and being obedient to them-there's a hadeeth which says that a nation is evaluated by the state of the women-subhan Allah-it's so true-subhan Allah-.Umar ibn al-Khattaab (RA) once said that in order to fully understand the Qur'aan, we need time to understand and fully comprehend it-Subhan Allah-the veil is what will hide me from everyone-I know that ppl wont be judging me by my looks but rather by my personality-and that Insha Allah-it's to please and obey Allah that I started wearing the niqaab-why else should I take it off if I understand the beauty of it-why do I leave something that I think is right and protect me from the evil of the society and protect me from everything-may Allah give us the courage to follow Him just like the prophet Muhammad (Sallah Allahu `3layhi wa salaam)'s sahaabah did-the holy Qur'aan is only a reminder for those who are the muttaqoon (pious)-as in surah baqarah aayah 3: Hudan lil muttaqeen (guidance for the muttaqoon)-may Allah subhanahu wa ta'alaa guide us all to the straight way, the siraat al-mustaqeem- and improve our taqwaa and belief of Him..and may His peace and blessings be upon the Blessed Prophet Muhammad (Salla Allahu `alayhi wa sallam) and to his Ummah..

Wassalaam-
Your sis fi Islam...
Shyemaa' aka Shyer
ps sorry for the looonng story...